Every team that enters The Crystal Maze does so with a Maze Master. Reprising the role of Richard O’Brien in the TV show they act as your guide and host, entertaining and educating you as they navigate you through the Aztec, Industrial, Medieval and Future Zones. Here 13 of our Maze Masters give you their single most-important piece of advice when taking on The Crystal Maze.
“Work as a team. Remember communication is key. And ALWAYS listen to your Maze Master! Because Bab’s will tell you how it is! ???? Absolutely Babulous!”
2. Tilda Wilder
“If all goes wrong, take a deep breath, grab some of Mumsy’s gin and roll about in the sand praying to the Aztec gods.”
3. Chris Tal
“Embrace The Failure. Some games are hard, some are easy and some are easy, but you’ll make them hard for yourselves! Listen and take a breath! And no one should leaves a games room to silence! Then, everyone feels like they have won a crystal!”
4. Minnie The Mover
“No dilly-dallying. Run don’t walk! And don’t be a d*ck”
“There’s only one skill necessary to tackle the Maze and that is being able to shout the phrase ‘GET THE CRYSTAL!’ at an obnoxiously loud level. Also, this is a very silly thing you’re about to spend an hour doing – be thankful you’re with friends and not in front of 6 million people like the poor people on Channel 4 back in the day.”
6. Hana Hamburglar
“Don’t look down. Or up. And definitely don’t be the guy who when we got to the Aztec Zone, picked up a handful of sand and put it in his pocket. That’s just weird. Other than that anything goes.”
7. Vercingétorix Junior
“Show no fear. You have to commit to conquer!”
8. The Baron
“Keep your eyes open and start making things happen. If you just stand around like a lemon then nothing will happen and you’ll just have a load of angry people shouting ‘Get the crystal!’”
9. Anna Key
“It’s not how many crystals you get, it’s what you do with them…”
“One of you will lose your sh*t, another will lose you mind, someone will shout ‘one voice at a time’ and you’ll all chime in with ’30 seconds’ immediately after I say it. If we’re not doing these things then we’re doing it wrong!
“But most importantly, if you fail to win a crystal just cuddle another human being. It’ll make you feel better. Cuddles make everything ok – like at a rave.”
““If you get scared or want to cry, come talk with Enzo and you’ll get better. I give special prizes to people on teams I like, such as biscotti and an even an all-expenses-paid trip to the Amalfi Coast.””
12. Dr Phillipa Jones
“Recent studies have shown that the music of WHAM! increases neuronal connections in the cerebral cortex of the brain, allowing a greater degree of mental and physical ability.
“So listen to as much of that as you can before entering The Maze. And, remember, if you ask the Aztec Gods for good luck it shall be bestowed upon you!”
13. Gordon Bennett
“Collaborate and listen and – to quote the only film I’ve ever seen – stay as ‘Cool As Ice’. Oh, and one more thing, if you get the chance, pump up the volume on your Walkman and listen to ‘Ice Ice Baby’ before you walk through the doors.”
See you in Aztec!